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fff#29 As much as I had loved him

Posted: October 18th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: FFF | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment »

For the background, see the posting before this one.

fff#29as much/little as… (starter)

As much as I had loved him, I hate him now. I see his car–an unmistakable maroon Toyota with a silly, excessive spoiler at the back–and my stomach churns with disgust. I’m not stupid. (Well, maybe I am stupid. I was with him for five years, after all.) I know the disgust is as much for me as for him. I can’t believe all the things I put myself through to be with him. All the blatant rubbish I endured to call him mine. Mine? Never was. His lies and my complicity leave me bruised and tired now just thinking about him.

Inevitably, every time I think about him I think about how it ended: hearing from a third party that there was this other woman, incontrovertable evidence shoved in my face and hurriedly digested before a nasty confrontation between him, her and me. And even then, even then, as much as I hated him, I loved him still.


One Comment on “fff#29 As much as I had loved him”

  1. 1 sweet trini said at 10:05 am on October 22nd, 2010:

    ent!
    didn’t expect this week’s trigger to make us all emotional; someting in the air?
    walk good.


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