{"id":172,"date":"2010-10-18T16:43:58","date_gmt":"2010-10-18T21:43:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/?p=172"},"modified":"2010-10-18T16:44:35","modified_gmt":"2010-10-18T21:44:35","slug":"fff29-as-much-as-i-had-loved-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/?p=172","title":{"rendered":"fff#29 As much as I had loved him"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>For the background, see the posting before this one.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/urbanfolktales.blogspot.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">fff#29<\/a>:\u00a0<em>as much\/little as&#8230; <\/em>(starter)<\/p>\n<p>As much as I had loved him, I hate him now. I see his car&#8211;an unmistakable maroon Toyota with a silly, excessive spoiler at the back&#8211;and my stomach churns with disgust. I&#8217;m not stupid. (Well, maybe I am stupid. I was with him for five years, after all.) I know the disgust is as much for me as for him. I can&#8217;t believe all the things I put myself through to be with him. All the blatant rubbish I endured to call him mine. Mine? Never was. His lies and my complicity leave me bruised and tired now just thinking about him.<\/p>\n<p>Inevitably, every time I think about him I think about how it ended: hearing from a third party that there was this other woman, incontrovertable evidence shoved in my face and hurriedly digested before a nasty confrontation between him, her and me. And even then, even then, as much as I hated him, I loved him still.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For the background, see the posting before this one. fff#29:\u00a0as much\/little as&#8230; (starter) As much as I had loved him, I hate him now. I see his car&#8211;an unmistakable maroon Toyota with a silly, excessive spoiler at the back&#8211;and my stomach churns with disgust. I&#8217;m not stupid. (Well, maybe I am stupid. I was with [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[53,4,18,24,39],"class_list":["post-172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fff","tag-flash-fiction-fridays","tag-lisa-allen-agostini","tag-moving-on","tag-trinidad-tobago","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=172"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":174,"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions\/174"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisaallen-agostini.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}